My Certain Uncertainty

My shell smiled big
Showing all my teeth
The grin a facade of sugary glaze
Over a core of nervous self-doubt

I loved making others
Laugh out with delight
And giggle at my silly behavior
But it wasn’t always easy to shine

When inside the thoughts
Of my esteem so in question
Ran circles round and round and round
Itself... like a dog running from his tail

I wondered each day
How my life could change
If I gained confidence, charm
And the looks of a God

I’ve always lived in this tremble of uncertain
Taking a step forward then two steps back
Thinking “gosh, if only” then
Maybe my life would be perfect

​In my aging wisdom
I’ve come to realize
That I don’t need potential or hope...
I already have a blessed life in so many ways.